Leah's Letters
by breezy-love
Summary: May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the love waiting in your dreams. May the laughter that you find in your tomorrow wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays. Leah's ready for a change in her life. Will she get what she's looking for?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, So I just logged on in about what 3 months? I didnt know fanfiction deleted old chapters that havent been posted. That more or less blew my day. But this is another story I have been working on for awhile. Well here we go!**

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There it was.

Sam and Emily's wedding invitation.

It read: _You have cordially been invited to the wedding of Samuel Uley and Emily Young . ._

I can't take this. I can't take all this pain and bitterness inside the inner depths of my heart. I thought time could mend a broken heart, but it has been four years since Sam and I broke up, so if that is true why do I still feel this way? Broken beyond repair, lost, and scorn? Nobody can bare to around me, not my mom, Seth, Jake or anybody else in our pack and Sam's pack. I don't blame them. I wouldn't want to be around me either.

I don't want to be this Leah, the bitter harpy, but I know I could never become the old Leah, who was happy and whose smile would brighten up a room. I could never be the Leah that was soft and warm, not after all I have been through. I desperately wished I could be her. Those were happier times, I had my family, I had friends, and more importantly I had Sam. Sam Uley. That man will forever own a piece of heart. No matter how much I want it back, he will always have it.

Maybe there would be a way for me to become a new Leah, not bitter and sarcastic or warm and soft, but a nice place in the middle. Could I become that girl? A girl who is lovable and nice, but strong and independent. A girl who isn't afraid of love and being loved. Could I become that girl? Maybe, but not in La Push. La push has too many memories. I can't truly move on with constant reminders of Sam and Emily's love or reminders of my father.

Would anybody miss me? I doubt it. Sam and Emily would be happy for me to leave, so that they can live their fairytale life without guilt. Mom would miss me for a little while, but she has Charlie and Seth, she will be fine. Jacob, Quil, and Embry were never my real friends; if anything they were comardes. The only two people who would miss would be Seth and Rose. Seth because even though I am pain and annoying he has loved me through all of this and Rose because in spite of her being a leech we have become best friends. We both share a pain and longing that nobody understands. We both were thrusted into this mythical world without anyone asking did we really want to. We lost things that can never be reclaimed. It took almost everthing from us and barely gave us anything in return. At least Rose had Emmett, love of her life. I can't deny that Rose didn't loose alot, but I lost alot more. I lost myself, my father, my family,my friends, the ability to have childern, and the love of my life.

It's time for a change. It's time I leave La Push. I can't tell anyone. They would beg and make sure I stay here, but I don't understand why though. It would be alot easier on everyone. Actually I am not doing this for everyone elses' benefit. I am doing this for myself because I need this. I need to reinvent myself and I can't do that in La Push or Forks or even the whole state of Washington. I need to go farther away. Maybe to California perhaps? I can't phase and run there. The pack would hear me and try to stop me. I could fly, I suppose. I actually do have the money for it. Before my dad died he put money in both mine and Seth's bank accounts, it was for college, but that never happened.

I hopped in my car and drove to the bank in Forks. If I went to the one in La Push some one would want to know why I would need 10,000 dollars. La Push is a small town and word travels fast, by the time I made the withdrawl both packs would have been outside demanding an explantion. Pfft...Like they would even get one. It's my life and I will do what I want.

I walked into the bank and saw a friendly old lady banker who was open.

"Hello dear. How may I help you?" She asked kindly.

"Hi. I am here to make a withdrawl from my savings account," I told her.

"Sure thing sweetie. May I see some identification?"

"Sure thing." I gave her my ID.

"Okay, Sweetheart everything checks out okay. How much do want to take out?"

"10,000 dollars," I told her. She looked stunned. I am pretty sure nobody in this town ever took out that much money.

"10,000 dollars? That is alot of money. May I ask why you need so much money?"

Normally I would have snapped at someone who would ask me anything, but I can't bring myself to be mean to an old lady. Hey! I may be bitter, but I am not totally heartless.

"I am starting my life over and I don't want to struggle. Especially since I have some money. I can't live here anymore. I have tried facing and conquering my problems, but all it does is bring me pain and make me a bitter person. To be honest I am only 20 and I am tired of being bitter. It's not normal _(Not that anything about me is normal)._ I just need a fresh start, I guess," I honestly told the lady.

"Oh dear! I understand. I did the same thing when I was around your age. My boyfriend left me for my best friend. I was devestated, so I left. I needed it, I guess. If I had stayed I would never be the woman I am today," the elderly lady told me proudly.

"Really? I know this is going to sound weird, but that is my exact problem. My ex-boyfriend broke up with me for my cousin/best friend and I just can't take it anymore. I have to leave," I told her.

"I understand. Here is your money," she handed me an envelope of money, "Just promise me that you will come back, okay? You can't go off and change and not show everyone else right?" she chuckled.

"Right."

"Well good luck honey. I'll pray for you to be safe," the lady kindly told me.

"Thank you so much. Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

Wow. Someone went through something just like this and look at her now! That woman is how I want to be... Well, not exactly, but she seemed so kind and pure. It's inspiring.

I drove home to gather my clothes, but I had to make sure no one was home.

"Hello?" I called out. No replied...Wait what's that? On coffee table was a note that said _Leah _on it. I read it

_Hey Leah!_

_We went to Sam and Emily's barbeque to celebrate their wedding._

_You can come if you want, but I doubt it._

_There is dinner in the fridge._

_Love mom and Seth_

Yeah. They were right. I wouldn't have gone to that party even if some filthy bloodsuckers were torturing me and I mean that. I never understood why everyone thought now that I know about imprinting I would get over it. It just made it worst. _Fate _decided that I wasn't good enough for Sam. Also from what they told me the imprinter becomes whatever the imprintee needs. So Emily needed a lover? She couldn't just be his friend for my sake? What the imprintee wants the imprintee gets. Emily wanted Sam and Sam is what she got, but she lost me in the process. I don't think I could ever truly forgive Emily. I feel betrayed by her. To be honest I am not even mad at Sam anymore, he didn't have a choice, but Emily always had a choice, but she just chose wrong I guess.

I guess the best thing to do is write letters for people. I think I am going to write letters to Sam, Emily, Mom, Seth, and Jake. They all need to know why I am leaving. I quickly grabbed a pen and a couple of pieces of paper and poured my heart out. When I was done I went upstairs and packed my clothes and anything else I thought was important and needed.

I know this sounds crazy, but I am going to miss La Push, not the people necessarily, but this is my home. I drove all the way to the train station. I knew exactly where I was headed.

"Hi. Can I help you?" the ticket lady asked me.

"Yes. When is the next train leaving to California?"

"California? Hmm... Let me check...AH! Yes, we do have a train leaving in 20 mintues, but you better hurry if you want to catch it."

"Okay, how much?" I asked. This is so conveinent, maybe fate and luck decided they were done being cruel and want to be on my side?

"That would be $50," she said.

I gave her the money and rushed to catch my train. I just handed my bag to the man before he closed the storage. Man aren't I lucky?

Well now its time for me to sit back and relax. California here I come baby!

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Seth POV

Well the party was nice, plus there was alot of food, and I mean alot. It all went well in the end. I think Emily wanted Leah to come, I mean they were practically like sisters before all this. I don't blame Leah for not going. In her eye's Emily betrayed her and there was a slim to none chance that she would be forgiven any time soon.

"So that was a nice party. I think Emily expected Leah to come," I lightly chuckle.

"Yes, it was nice and when we get home I am going to talk to Leah and get her to come to their wedding," mom said.

I stopped dead in my tracks. She can't even think about doing that. Leah would never agree to that and thats exactly what I told her.

"Seth, it's time Leah gets over this. She knows the truth and she can't blame Emily or Sam. It's the way things have to be," she said and with that she walked into the house. I can't believe my mom would even think about something like this. Leah would never go to their wedding.

"Leah? LEAH!" mom called out, but nobody responded.

Where is Leah? She should be home by now...wait.. What's that on the coffee table?

"Mom, what are all those papers?" I asked pointing to the stacks of papers. My mom went to grab the one that said_ Mom_ on it. She read it then her face went pale. What's wrong? Where is Leah?

"What is it mom?" I asked

"She's gone...She left.."

"What that can't be true," I said. This cant be true. Leah wouldnt leave me, she wouldnt leave us. NO, **no**, no this isnt right.

"Go read your letter!" mom snapped.

I ran to the letter that said Seth. It said

_Hey there baby bro!_

_So, if your reading this then you should know that I have left La Push. I am done being bitter and angry, but I cant do that in La Push, so I have to leave. I am doing this for me, Seth. I know you are probably mad at me for leaving me, but I have to do this. It's time for me to be happy and I can't do this in La Push. I love you. And don't worry, I will come back and don't think that doesnt mean I won't write to you. I will always keep you posted on my life. Well I am done. I love you, Seth and never forget that. _

_Love,_

_Leah_

_P.S. Don't look for me_.

I can't believe this. I don't believe it. She left. I understand why, but I just can't believe it. I was shaking uncontrollably.

"Seth, go outside," mom said.

I ran outside and phased. I howled so loud that every wolf in La Push heard and phased instantly. They all were searching my mind to see what was wrong. I didn't care what they saw. I just didn't know what to do anymore.

_Leah left_. Sam stated.

_Yeah because of you!_ I growled.

_Seth, you know I couldn't control it_, he stated calmly.

_How can you be so calm about this?! My sister was so heart broken that she had to leave! Do you not even care about her anymore?!_ I growled. I was so outraged with Sam I was suprised I haven't killed him yet

_Of course I care! I still love, Leah and I will always love her!_ Sam snarled. It was no secret that Sam still loved Leah, it was just something that was never openly stated.

_Well you have a funny way of showing it. Anyways she left. She left you and Emily a letter. Come get it and never come to my house ever again!_ I yelled then phased back to human and ran to my room.

_Why did Leah have to leave us?_

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**_Okayy So Here We Go! I Know It's Been awhile since I've made anything, but I think I may do just a bunch of short stories or just one-shots. This story right here though may become a legit story though. I mean it could though right? _**

**_Should it be more or should I just leave it alone?_**

**_But seriously, I'm back. I have soo many ideas right now! But suggestions are welcomed. Gosh! I've missed you guys :D_**

**_Ciao my loves,_**

**_Breezy-Love_**


	2. Chapter 2

**So shout out to:**

**agh0986 and emina15 for being the only two review! This chapter is for you two!**

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Emily POV

Leah Clearwater. I hate her. I love her, but I think I hate her more.

I've always been jealous of Leah. It's a secret that I would never admit though. Leah was always the prettiest, smartest, funniest etc. and I was just Emily, second best to Leah. That never stopped our friendship from growing. I eventually came to realize that we both excel in different things like I'm good at...knitting. Okay! I know it's not a great accomplishment, but it's the only thing that I'm better at than her.

I was happy the day Sam imprinted on me. Finally for once I was the one who was the winner. I got Sam and she got nothing! It was absolutely perfect. Part of me did regret hurting her because I know she would never hurt me the way I did her. It's not like I didn't try though, but part of me wanted Sam even before I knew what he looked like or how he acted, I knew I wanted him because Leah had him...

*SLAM*

My thoughts were interrupted with Sam being rude and slamming the door. I've told him countless times that he shouldn't slam the door, do boys ever learn? When I look up and study his face I can tell he's upset and he's clutching two pieces of paper.

"Sam, honey, what's wrong?" I ask with my voice filled with concern.

"It's Leah...She...ss-hee... left," He choked out. She left? About damn time. Why does Sam even care? He has me! I'm all he will ever need.

I sighed. I honestly didn't care.

"Why do you even care, Sam? I'm your imprint! I'm so sick and tired of you caring about her. You weren't meant for her; I was meant for you!" Right when those words left my mouth, I regreted ever speaking them. No one was ever suppose to know my true feelings about this.

Sam stared at me with a vacant expression, shocked by what I said. I knew that it was only a matter of seconds before he goes into a animalistic rage.

"WHY DO I CARE? What kind of question is that, Emily? Why do I care?! I care because I love Leah! Yes, I said it. I love her, but I love you more, but the love I had for Leah will never die. I destroyed her. I could go on and pretended that I didn't see the pain in her eyes when she saw us together, but that would be a complete lie. It hurts you know? It hurts knowing that I couldn't be with the woman I truly loved because I was stuck with you! I mean really Emily, she's your **ex-bestfriend**. Emphasis on the bestfriend part. You know what a bestfriend is right? They wouldn't ask why their current fiancee was upset about his ex-fiancee and long time girlfriend of years, who happens to be your cousin, leaving!" When Sam finished all he had was hatred in his eyes.

That actually hurt. We have never been in a single fight until now. I mean it's not like the words weren't true, but he wasn't suppose to say that. He was suppose to say, "Oh, you're right. I don't really care about her. Want me to rub your feet, sweetums?"

Sam put the paper's down and stormed off to the bedroom. I figure I won't bother him now, I don't need him scarring the other side of my face and what not. I walked over to the papers. One of them was addressed to me so I pick it up.

_Dear Emily,_

_Words can't express what I feel for you. I hate you. I'm happy for you. I'm jealous of you. I miss you. I still love you too. I don't think I'll ever be able to get past this 'situation'. I'll always remember the good times we had though. Remember when we decided to dress Seth up as girl? He still claims he doesn't remember that, but I know he does. It's funny I know you never meant to hurt me, but I can't help but feel hurt. I honestly know that if it was the other way around and I was the one who was imprinted on and Sam was yours, I would have fought it because I love you more than him. You were my bestfriend, my sister, my partner in crime. Does that make me the better friend? Who knows. We all have our priorities I suppose. I hope you enjoy your life Emily. I know growing up you were jealous of me...I know you're thinking, 'How did she know that?' You're not that hard to read, Emily. I know you're happy with Sam, but are you happy without me? I mean I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to be without my bestfriend...Oh wait, I can because thats what happened. You lost me. I didn't choose to loose you. You did. I know somewhere in your heart, you miss me. I know you think you won, but did you really? Anyways, I truly do hope you can enjoy your life. Maybe one day we can be friends and equals. Jealously doesn't look good on anyone does it? Maybe I'll see you sometime..._

_Love,_

_Leah_

By the time I finish the letter, I'm sobbing uncontrollably. I know I'm a jerk on the inside, but that's how I feel sometimes. I never knew Leah knew how I felt. Does it make her a better friend? She could never know the strength of the imprint...

**Then again Leah was always the stronger one. You're so selfish, Emily. Leah would never betray you like you did her.**

Doesn't that make you a betrayer as well? I mean we are the same person y'know?

**True, but I'm the good part of you. The bad part took over before I could anything about it.**

Fine, but what do I left about this? I mean she left. There's nothing I can now.

**Of course you can't do anything now. Gosh! How stupid are you?**

Well if you're so smart then what do you suggest we do?

**We wait.**

Wait?

**Yes. We wait until she returns and pray she forgives us.**

I doubt she'll do it. I mean she is Leah. Once she holds a grudge it's pretty much unbreakable.

**I know, but didn't you read what she said? She misses you as well. And who knows? Maybe one day things can be back to normal almost.**

Maybe. I'll be waiting along time until she comes back.

**Good thing we're not going anywhere right? So we wait?**

We wait.

Sam comes out of our room after about an hour or so. His eyes are red-rimmed from crying I'm sure.

"I'm sorry for what I said Emily, but you have to understand that I love you, but Leah will always have a special place in my heart. I didn't mean to blow up at you, but I just couldnt understand why you were being so insensitive..." He trailed off.

"It's fine, Sam. If anything I should be the one saying sorry. I've always been jealous of Leah and I just couldn't handle the fact that you still love her and she still has some type of effect on you. I know you love me, but you still have love for her and I completely understand that."

"You do? Wow," He runs his fingers through his hair, "I didn't think you would. I mean how does it sound? 'Hey Emily I love you, but I love Leah too.'," He chuckled lightly.

I laughed too, "It does sound crazy, but does anything make sense anymore? I mean I never thought my bestfriend/cousin's boyfriend would become my fiancee and I would loose said bestfriend too." I said with tears in my eyes. Sam caught the tears before they could fall.

"It's okay honey. I know Leah. She'll be back." He said trying to comfort me.

"I know. We will just have to wait until she comes back. I hope she gets better. I miss my bestfriend." I whispered.

"We'll wait. And I'm sure she'll be a thousand times better than before," He said reassuringly.

I hope he's right about this. I won't be able to stand if she gets worst.

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**Okay Chapter Two is up! So what do you think? Emily is such a jerk, but luckily she has seen the error of her ways. **

**Will Leah ever return? I hope soo :D**

**I had to make Emily that way. I don't think she is this innocent character like she seems. There's multiple sides to people and we had to see her jerk side today! **

**Do you love the inner dialogue cause I do!**

**So next POV I'm thinking either: Sam, Paul, or Sue.**

**Who should it be? Say your answer in your review.**

**Anywho thanks my beauties**

**- Breezy-love**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yay! Back. I'm always struggling to update but I'm trying to get better with this. 'Who's the Daddy?' should get update by the end of this week. So read :D**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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I never knew how much pain my baby girl was in. She was tough. She never showed weakness. How could I have known that she was so miserable? Does that make me a bad mother for not knowing? Yes, it does. I should have supported her more. I knew about Sam. I should have told Leah. I should have never taken Sam and Emily's side. Maybe my baby girl would still be here...

_"LEAH! How could you tell Emily that you won't be bridesmaid? That's family," I shouted._

_"How could I? How about her? How dare she even think that I would consider being in that wedding," Leah snarled. I am so sick of this attitude. She knows the truth. Sam and her weren't meant to be. She has to get over this if she ever wants to live a normal life._

_I shake my head in frustration, "Leah, its been a year since you and Sam broke up. It's not healthy for you to still be upset about this."_

_"I can't believe you! How is that not healthy to be upset when the love of your life leaves you for your cousin? I think it's not healthy how all of you guys accept this! What about me, huh? I'm your daughter, but you still take their side on this. I mean your right mom, it's only been a year. They couldn't have waited before planning this wedding?!" She roared._

_"But they said that they won't actually have the wedding for awhile..." But she cut me off_

_"They couldn't have thought to not ask me to be in it?! He couldn't have waited before he proposed? How can I live with that mom? I hate them. I hate everything. I hate how I am here practially dying on the inside and you, my own mother is basically telling me to suck it up! Well answer me this Mom: How am I wrong for being upset, huh? I fuckin' hate you!" She yelled at me._

_I slapped her. How dare she say that to me? I'm her mother. She knows better than to ever speak to me in that manner._

_"I don't know who you think you are, but you will never speak to me like that. You need to grow up, Leah. Life is not full of happily ever afters. Sometimes you just move on and find something else. There are other boys out there for you. Sam just wasn't the one," I told her calmly._

_She didn't speak to me for the rest of the night._

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I'm a horrible person. I can't even imagine the pain she was going through. She had no help. Her father and I knew the truth so we couldn't be upset with Emily or Sam. Seth loved Sam like a big brother that he never had and loved Emily like a sister, he could never hate them even if he wanted to. They were family. I though we could move on from this. I figured someone would imprint on Leah. She's a pretty girl, smart and funny too. But that dream changed the night she phased. I figured that since she phased she wouldn't be as angry as before. I mean a human-Leah was scary, but a human/shapeshifter-Leah was even scarier...

_"Leah, honey please calm down," I tried to calm Leah down, but she was in a world of her own. One filled with hate and rage._

_"NO! I won't calm down. How dare your guys precious Emily ask if we can put this behind us before the wedding! 'I don't want any drama or hard feelings between us,' Thats what she said. No hard feelings, huh? I have hard feelings!" She screeched._

_"Leah, you're not being fair. You know how imprinting works," Seth said trying to defend Emily and Sam._

_"I'm not being fair? You know what's not fair, Seth? Having fate decide that I wasn't good enough for Sam. Having everything that ever meant anything to me taken away. You want to know what's not fair? Being the only girl who has to transform into a hideous monster and hear thoughts about how much everyone hates her. You want more?! Is it fair knowing that your OWN BROTHER wishes that you were dead?" She yelled with streams of tears falling down her face. _

_Seth looked so pained. I mean it was hard to tolerate Leah, but I don't think he really wishes that she was dead, does he?_

_"Lee-Leah..I didn't mean it..It's just that.." He tried to spit out, but Leah was already gone by then._

_I ran over to Seth and hugged him tightly._

_"It's okay, honey. You know how Leah can get," I told him._

_"I didn't know she knew about that, Mom. I don't want anything to happen Leah, honestly I dont, but I don't know what to do anymore," Seth whispered._

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To be honest, I didn't know what to do either. What could I have done?

_Dear Mom,_

_ I don't know if I can really let you know how I feel. I'm pretty sure you would die reading this if I wrote down what it was like having a mother who didn't try to help her daughter through constant pain. Could you handle that, Sue? Yes, I said Sue. I don't know if I can call you 'mom' anymore. You want to know why? I'm sure you already know the answer, but I'm going to let you know anyways: You weren't there for me when I needed you the most. I just wanted your support. Even though you knew the truth about Sam and Emily before me, couldn't you have just pretend for my sake? I didnt know anything, all I knew was that everyone who I loved and cared about turned their backs on me. I wanted someone to care, even if it was just a little bit. Was I wrong for wanting that? I don't think so, but what do I know? What I really want to understand is why did everyone think that I would instantly move on once I knew the truth? Am I the only one who doesn't understand that. I loved Sam. A part of me still does...  
__ Sue, I need to get away. Everyone has their happy endings. Sam has Emily, Jake has Nessie, Heck! Even you have Charlie. I'm disgusted by that, you know? I mean I didn't expect you to be single for the rest of your life, but Charlie? You're **dead** husband's best friend. It's digusting, utterly disgusting. I hope dad isn't rolling over in his grave now. I don't hate you though. I really need you to know that. I'm just confused, but I can't honestly say it is love because I haven't felt love from you in years. I hope that when I return you've changed because I know I'll be changed. _

_Somewhere between love and hate,_

_Leah_

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**Okay I wanted to write more, but honestly I couldnt think of what to say. I felt like this was the right way to end this chapter.**

**So whose POV should be next? Come on suggestions people!**

**See ya,**

**Breezy-love**


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